(S) Witcher – review

I remember the time when I realized my computer is just old. I have counted the years and then I realized I have this machine for more than 10 years! I freshly moved from my university student apartments to rented flat and I put this thing together by my bare hands 😊 Oh, what a times at college…

So together with Subnautica, the Witcher was one of the games which made me realized that this thing which was called “SuperComp” in its times has the best over it. After brief checking of graphic cards cost there was obvious, that bitcoins still hunt the prices way up!

Regarding that with new graphic card I would have to buy new motherboard, memories and most importantly the processor I rather chose to buy famous japan gaming invention shaking with console industry heavily in last years. If you are dinosaurus and haven’t heard about Nintendo Switch yet, there will follow a blogpost dedicated to it soon. Sooo… here we are.

The package is absolutely wonderful! You get great map and very nice mini book introducing the basics of Witcher’s world and characters. Duh! Everybody knows the Witcher, man! 😉 But map is very nice and you get also couple of stickers. I sticked one of them on the back of my Switch immediately.

Sooo… Witcher is the best fantasy on the planet, period. I love the books, I was waiting for years until the last book was released and translated into Czech and I swear I have read this massive thing during 24 hours during weekends at my granma’s.

Buuut the game, man, let’s face it, it’s ugly. To squeeze all content including all datadisks for original Witcher 3 the brothers from Poland had to cut the corners so much that it resulted to graphical squircle.

Textures, details, FOW, LOD, OMG. When I showed this to my friends like: “Oh, look at this! I have entire Witcher here on this funny tablet.” there were like: “Ow sh*t man! Come on, show it me, how does it look?” but their face changed rapidly after sWitcher loaded. “Come on, Jerry,” they said to me, tapping me condolatory. “Have a look on this UHD zillion inches home cinema to check PC version in full parade.

Even I realized that the game looks like Mafia 1 I was decided to enjoy the story – which I actually did! The dialogs are like the series, which was perfect to me since I’ve just finished the first season on Netflicks. So I have to admit this was ideal substitute to avoid withdrawal syndrome.

But my lifestyle is not what it used to and I am using Switch in rather smaller intervals, in tram on the way to work, waiting in doctor’s waiting room or wherever to kill time – offices, banks, posts, you know it – postsoviet culture obsessed with paperworks and proving evidence of its importance… Back to the topic, sWitcher load way too long!!! 😥

Playing on the edge difficulty where you have to load couple of times when fighting with some quite challenging boss can be total pain in the ass. Also it doesn’t help when some creepy deer finishes you after unexpected fight with drowner zombies right after finishing quest in the middle of nowhere forest so you have to do it all again…

This can piss you off but believe me, long loading times doesn’t motivate you to keep torturing yourself especially when you have bunch of other games runnable any time by two button clicks.

So I am giving 3/5 – even it is a Witcher! And it reaps my heart that I have to do that, but honestly, the original Polish series also was not 5/5. I have to upgrade my PC now. Also I’ve put a map on my new board. Maybe that will motivate me 😉



Overall review: 3/5 ⭐⭐⭐